


It's Possible The Choir Had Something To Do With It, But It Could Just As Easily Have Been The Leprechauns

by anonymous_sibyl



Category: Sports Night, The West Wing
Genre: Crossover, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-03-29
Updated: 2005-03-29
Packaged: 2017-10-03 15:28:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anonymous_sibyl/pseuds/anonymous_sibyl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>So, two guys walk into an emergency room…</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's Possible The Choir Had Something To Do With It, But It Could Just As Easily Have Been The Leprechauns

**Author's Note:**

> I was stoned. I decided everyone else should be, too. For [](http://alixnoorchis.livejournal.com/profile)[**alixnoorchis**](http://alixnoorchis.livejournal.com/) who inspired it, [](http://alex-virital.livejournal.com/profile)[**alex_virital**](http://alex-virital.livejournal.com/) who is scared I'll harm his Josh, and the ER doctor who prescribed the painkillers to me.
> 
> This work is licensed under a [Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License](http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/3.0/us/). None of the media or characters written about in my fanfiction belong to me and I make no profit from these works. 

"I hate you."

The crazy man two seats over was talking to the television again. He swayed in the cheap mustard-colored chair and spoke directly to the television, sometimes punctuating his statements with hand gestures and something that resembled a little dance but appeared to Dan to be a seizure.

"We could change the channel," Dan suggested. "We could watch what _they're_ doing to _my_ show while I'm stuck here and… whoa, she's hot."

"I hate you."

"Me or the hot chick?"

"All of you. Them," the man frowned at Dan and gestured widely. "You."

Well, that was offensive. And interesting. It could also be considered a challenge. "You don't even know me. You should get to know me before you hate me."

"Whaaaat?"

Danny slid over the empty seats until he was sitting directly next to the crazy man. "Dan Rydell," he said, sticking out his hand.

"Josh Lyman. I'd shake your hand, but," he gestured toward the bandage around his right hand, then at the bandages wound around Dan's arm, "we might end up in some sort of tragic entanglement."

"My friend, I am tragically entangled on a daily basis."

"I hate you."

"You hate… the United States Government?" Dan asked, looking at the seal behind the person on the TV screen. "The entire United States Government? I mean, I am a man of many opinions, but isn't it going a little too far to hate the _entire_ government? It's possible the government is made up of little people striving each day to do the best job they can do."

"It is. They are."

"And you hate them."

"Yes."

"I blame this fully on the large amount of painkillers the lovely Doctor Sharon Sterling thrust upon me, but, I am going to ask you why. At least I suspect I am going to ask you why and then I am more than likely going to regret it for a very long time. It's possibly it will go down in history as one of my biggest regrets. When they speak of me someday, and they will-"

"They stole my tie."

"_I_ didn't steal your tie."

"I don't know that." Josh muttered one last _I hate you_ in the direction of the nightly news then glared at Dan. "I don't know you. You could be in on it."

"I could be," Dan acknowledged.

"I knew it!" Josh gestured at the TV, then at Dan. "Give me back my tie!"

"You are aware, are you not, that you're currently wearing a tie?"

"I am not! This… this atrocity is not a tie."

Dan considered it: long, pointy at the end, possibly silk, some sort of logo on a navy blue background. "Looks like a tie to me."

"It's not!"

"Hey," he said, leaning in toward Josh and picking up the edge of the tie between two fingers. "Are those leprech…? Oh! A Notre Dame man, are you?"

"I went to Harvard."

"Sure," Dan nodded amiably. "But that's not much of a football school, is it? Understandable you back Notre Dame."

"I do not back Notre Dame!" Josh brandished his tie at Dan then winced in pain. "Oh, that was not good. Where the hell is Donna?"

"Donna?" Now this was really getting interesting. Donnas always sounded attractive and perky. "Did Donna steal your tie?"

"The President of the United States and his cohorts stole my tie!"

"I see." Dan rattled the pill bottle in his hand and wondered how many more painkillers he'd need to take in order to catch up to Josh. "And is this Donna the president of the United States?"

"You're one of the crazy people they can't fit in a ward, aren't you?" Josh looked at the vacant nurse's station, then back at Dan. "Are you allowed to be out here? Shouldn't you be, I don't know, tagged or something?"

"The President of the United States of America, our United States of America, stole your tie," Dan repeated.

"He and his cohorts, yes."

"And I should be tagged? You, my friend, seem to have a bit of a problem connecting with reality."

"I seem to have a bit of a problem connecting with my tie." Josh sagged in his chair, blinking his eyes lazily shut. "Whoa. Now those're some good drugs."

Dan sighed and slumped down as well. "Preaching to the choir, my man."

"Choir? There's a choir?"

"I do not know." Dan nodded toward the TV. "The hot chick who stole your tie is gone. Mind if I turn on my show?"

"Hot chick? They're all hot chicks." Josh's voice trailed off as his head slumped forward. "Could kick my ass, though. They all could. What did the women's movement ever do for me, I ask you?"

"Chicks who can kick your ass are hot."

"I don't think the women like us to say that."

_"All that and a perfect presidential pitch. This is Sports Night on CSC, so stick around."_

"Hey," Dan said, watching the President throw out the first ball during Casey's voiceover. "That's a nice tie on the President."

"It should be nice. Cost me a fortune."

Dan turned in his seat to face a scowling Josh. "Were you injured during the arrest or something?"

"Arrest?"

"For stalking the President and accusing him of stealing your tie. Are you dangerous? Is there something I should know? Nurse!"

"I'm not a nurse, but I do tend to take care of him a great deal. Maybe I should look into getting my nursing license. It might be a rewarding career."

"Donna! Where have you been?"

"Donna! You're real!"

"Oh, look," Donna said, easing herself into a chair across from them and crossing her legs. "Josh has a playmate." She extended her hand and Dan took it awkwardly in his left. "Donna Moss, Assistant to the Idiot. And you look familiar to me."

"Dan Rydell."

She shook her head, blonde hair flying. "I got nothing."

"He thinks he's on TV," Josh muttered. "And I really don't think he's all that handsome or sane, so you might want to let go of his hand, Donna."

"Donna…" Dan leaned in toward the woman. "This man thinks the President of the United States stole his tie. I'm not sure he's well."

"That's it!" She looked back and forth between Dan and the TV. "You're Dan Rydell! From Sports Night!" She swatted Josh with her free hand. "He _is_ on TV, you moron."

"Ow! Don't hit me, I'm injured." Josh rubbed his bandaged right hand. "Don-na. I'm hurt over here, remember? I was injured while attempting to save you from a wildly thrown pitch."

"My hero."

"Whatever."

Donna rose from her chair and leaned forward to pat Josh on the shoulder. "I'm going to go talk to a nurse about getting you out of here, hero. You stay here and don't make any sudden moves." She briefly brushed her fingers across Dan's shoulder as she walked by. "You probably shouldn't make any moves, either. It was nice to meet you, Dan Rydell."

"You, too, Donna Moss," Dan said as he briefly took her hand then watched her walk away.

"Hey! She said not to make any moves. No move-making on my Donna!"

"Oh, shut up and play with your tie."

"This isn't my tie! The President of the Uni—"

"Stole your tie. Yeah, yeah, yeah."

"I hate you."


End file.
